As someone who married at age 19 and found myself facing a divorce, with four young children to raise, at the age of 37, I had my share of relationship anxiety. There were all the usual questions.
What if I do it again? How can I find someone to share my life with? How did you not see that coming? And so on. . .The Questions come from fear. . .
It took time and I beat him, find love with my husband Shame. . .A incredible man turns my life and my best friend.
Do you keep a secret?
When we find ourselves contemplating going "out there" and find a new relationship, people often put their best foot forward, presenting the best side of themselves. They meet at a cafe, coffee or a drink, smiling and making small talk, flirt a little with the hope that they are in a good light.
You put on your best clothes, make sure your preparation is impeccable ... And then the process starts keeping secrets. You hide what you really are, in an attempt to obtain approval and be "chosen" by the other person.
This makes the relationship of anxiety because there is a basic change in their entirety. . .You pretend to be one way, when in reality, you're next. When you have that connection with your true self, you feel comfortable in your own skin.
This does not mean, for all his dirty clothes on the table and let all means be yourself. . .NOT A reflection of what you think it should be.
Having the "Talk"
When you come from the perspective that you are the one who made the "choice", they are more likely to discuss the possibility of a new relationship (or deepening existing) very differently.
One strategy that I recommend (and I followed) is to ask questions or have the "Talk". Men, do not work, what works for you too!
When you sit at the table in the cafe and ask questions during the "Discussion", you should ask. . .Ask Questions in the natural flow of conversation. . .When You see yourself in five years? Are you looking for a friendship or a relationship? ... And so on ...
In order to have the "Talk", to do this first:
Know thyself
Clarify your values
Know what your goals are relational
What do you want? Want to marriage, children, a short term relationship? Make sure you are honest with yourself. If you can not be honest with you, it certainly can not be honest with everyone and it is therefore essential to have in a relationship, right?
Are you finished with your previous relationship? Have you closed the door and ended up in the duel? Are you ready to go? Relationship anxiety can come from not having finished with the past, a report of a negative impact from a previous association.
There is a very powerful process, called "the last straw" which is very useful in closing the door on a relationship that may have hung on too long. . .
What is the message that the relationship of anxiety for you?
When we create feelings such as anxiety in our lives, they often come with a message. Take time to listen to the message that your subconscious is trying to tell. Listen for clues, they will come.
I'll focus on the negative, not positive what is happening in your life?
Imagine a future that was not made on the basis of a past that did not work?
Are you independent enough? Do you think you'll agree you know, if you're in a relationship or not?
Have you accepted responsibility for the part it has played in past relationships? Do you have limits?
Did you know you're pretty, you deserve love?
Relationship Anxiety will cease to exist when the past and residual feelings about past partners ... Turns off when you accept responsibility for creating your own life. . When you know that you are pretty and deserve love. Create a wonderful vision, full of light and sparkle and the relationship you want to be there. . Just like that.
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